What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 01:28
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Why am I dreaming of people I've never seen before?
And who doesn’t know suffering?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I think the readers, may guess!
I have no regrets .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Should we consider deporting democrats to Canada?
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Why do foolish atheists think their strange delusional theories are facts?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Ive learnt so much.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
How can parents identify and address early signs of racial bias in young children?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I don,t even have a pension.
All the time i was locked up.
Can you explain the difference between “mi piace” and “mi piacciono” in Italian?
(And it was in our own minds.)
I will be 64.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
We all went to grammer schools
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
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Would this be the day?
I never cut or harmed myself..
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Why do narcissists devour so much sugar (candy, ice cream, donuts, etc., in huge amounts at a time)?
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
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I was writing from the time i was a small child.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Is it just me, or do we all hate Sasuke from Naruto?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Put me off passion for life!!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
How can you maintain self-control?
It was going to be , some day.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
She married twice! .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
What did i know ?
And i lived it daily.
He resisted the act ,that day.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Who then, do I blame.?
She loved him until the end.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
She wouldn,t have been !
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
One cannot live in the past .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I waited trembling.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I write beautiful poetry .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
My life is so biszare .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I was very sick at this time too.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I couldn’t, believe it.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
My family never makes their pension either.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Why did i forgive my father ?
We were not on the streets..
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Im dying but, im not bitter.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I was scared of men, in general
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
She was in good health!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I said to her
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He knew the spot.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I was 9 years of age.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
But it wasn’t much.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But ive been too sick for many years..
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
She found it foreign!.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I was seconnd youngest,
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
When she asked me how she looked .
So whats the point in blame.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
So, i spoilt her more .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But, we were locked up after school.
Comes on , in middle age.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Im still living with it.
This is soul school!.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I could never make a relationship work though!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.